i can see what i can find, but i can’t find the ones i left behind

So I was going to write something about how sad it is that the Brittany Murphy chick died, but then I asked around and nobody could tell me who exactly she was. One person said something about her being in Clueless, but if it ain’t that fat girl what used to be hot in the Aerosmith video but then she got fat and made that horrible Batman movie, I don’t know what you’re talking about and I stop with the listening.

So I was going to write something about how sad it is that the Brittany Murphy chick died, but since I don’t know who she is, I don’t care. In her face.

In fact, I’m trying my hardest not to get pissed off at her about it. Because when you really stop to think about it, how dare she? How dare some chick who no one even knows who she is to up and OD from snorting the coke go into cardiac arrest and die right around the holidays, taking your and my focus away from what really matters: Tiger Woods.

Here’s a question for you: what’s more annoying, the guy riding his bike on the street when there’s a bike path going to same route he’s going maybe ten feet to his right, or the guy in the car behind him (and in front of you (obviously)) who refuses to pass him, even though there’s no oncoming traffic?

Turns out it’s the guy in the car. Because while they’re both responsible for making your commute last longer than it should, when you finally got a look at the guy on the bike, you saw he was foreigner. And what with it being the holiday season and all, you felt sorry for him growing up in some crappy country with some crappy religion that doesn’t have Santa Clause. Poor Balki.

Here’s another question for you: notice all the colons? That’s three in one blog post, and I’m pretty sure they’re all used correctly. I bet that dead girl from Clueless couldn’t have done that even if she were still alive, which she isn’t.

Happy Christmas, Internet, in case I don’t post anything else this week which I might but probably not.