tuesday morning: a haiku

Can someone explain
the lack of “Slave Leia” porn
on the effin’ ’net?

Seriously, Internet… you have a video of two whores shitting and vomiting in each others’ mouths popping up all over the place, but you can’t scrounge up even one medium-resolution JPEG of some dude’s girlfriend slipping out of a replica gold bikini for me in my very specific Google image searches?

Very specific Google image searches.

You’re gross and I’m telling your kids as much.

Or I would, except they’re gross, too, and I can’t stomach being around them. They get it from you and I hope you’re happy about that but, if not, too bad so sad.