internalized conflict, externalized as war

I know you’ve been waiting for this, so let me go ahead and get it out of the way:

Yes, I watched the finale of the Big Fat Loser show. No, I don’t think it’s fair that the old woman won, what with her cheating by way of osteoporosis lessening her bone density.

Here’s a haiku I wrote about divorce:

Being able to
jack off whenever you want
is overrated.

And here’s a funny joke I just wrote:

You:

Is your refrigerator running?

Me:

No! It quit working yesterday, so now I have to throw all the food away! And then I have to buy a new fridge!! OMFGLMAO!!!!!

Also, I watched those Alzheimer’s documentaries on the HBO, Internet, and I’ve never felt more confident that, for one thing, Maria Shriver looks like the Crypt Keeper, and for another thing, once I hit 55, I’m so getting the Alzheimer’s. Whether I’ve got it or not. It’s just going to make life easier, I think, with the being waited on all the time and especially the not having to talk to people.

But so help me god, if one of the grandkids calls it “Alltimers” I’m going to smack him or her upside and about the head, repeatedly, until they learn to pronounce it correctly. It makes you violent sometimes, the Alltimers does.