04:06:2009 @ 06:45 PM

you’re the kind of boy i really like, let me have a ride on the motorbike

I shaved my balls this weekend and now I can’t stop touching them.

Okay, so as a result of the overwhelming response in the form of comments on my last post, and also in that it helps me to be less disgusted when I envision you visiting my website while naked as you so often do on account of how it makes you feel so free, I’ve decided to drunk-write all of my blogs from now on. And I’ve never been one for drinking in the mornings, so I hope you appreciate my efforts.

“But I thought you were always drunk when you blogged.”

[note: drunk in the holy spirit.]

Ha! I beat you to it. In your face. Just like that Shamwow! guy what beat up that hooker in her face.

And I know that since I stole your “but I thought you were always drunk when you blogged” thunder a little while ago that you’re going to try and get me back with a witty comment about the ShamWow guy, but as a serious journalist, I’ll have you know that him wanting to see if the ShamWow! was effective at soaking up hooker blood had nothing to do with what happened.

Absolutely nothing.

No, apparently the altercation occurred when he tried to pay her in three easy installments of $333.33, and expected a second handjob, absolutely free, by acting now.

posted by Jack Smynde on 04:06:2009 @ 09:51 AM

lol

posted by Krissyface on 04:06:2009 @ 02:56 PM

oh, you sick sick bastard.

posted by David on 04:07:2009 @ 06:31 PM

One has to admire the man who is so in touch with his masculinity that he is happily shaving any part of his privates.

I like the silky smooth feeling myself and so does the little lady. The more grooming I do, the happier she is to not get any errant hairs in her teeth.

posted by Cindy Lou on 04:08:2009 @ 01:16 PM

That's a pretty expensive handjob, even with a free one thrown in for acting now.

posted by heyjoe on 04:09:2009 @ 06:02 PM

And here I thought that when he beat her ass, "Sham Wow" appeared in those big cartoon stars like on the Batman show of yore.

I hate being wrong so often.

posted by lo on 04:25:2009 @ 10:30 PM

I saw pictures of her and I'm pretty sure your pricing point estimate is off and needs that decimal to be shifted two spots to the left.