02:16:2009 @ 09:13 AM

money can’t buy everything, it’s true; but what it don’t buy, i can’t use

Who’s with me in thinking that, although I’m sure he would never admit as much publicly (or even privately, and certainly not with mixed company), but now that it’s back to being the tallest building in Manhattan, deep down the Empire State Building was probably a little happy about the terrorist attacks of 9/11?

I’m certainly no conspiracy theorist, and so help me god you better never refer to me as such or my girlfriend Sara will settle the score, but I’m just saying that, when it comes to your tourism dollars, an observation deck can make a man think crazy thoughts. Crazy thoughts. We all have our limits, you know? Not me, of course, but you all sure seem to…

Hey Internet! Know what pisses me off even more than you do? Well, I’ll tell you: when the poor people have the audacity to squeeze their fat asses up the aisle towards the bow to use the first-class lavatory.

If the flight attendant is spending her time disinfecting the toilet from poor germs, she can’t really be bringing me warm towels and free beer, now can she?

Think about someone besides yourselves for a change, poor people. Think.

posted by Jack Smynde on 02:16:2009 @ 11:14 AM

I don't think the ESB's been all that quiet about how happy it is. It's just that Sara would have to stop talking long enough for you to hear it.

Fucking poor people. Do we go back to their bathroom and get it all nice and high-class? NO.

posted by The Scoot on 02:16:2009 @ 01:26 PM

Um. Well, as odd as it may seem, this made me chuckle. May a unicorn shit a rainbow on you.

posted by Sara on 02:16:2009 @ 02:59 PM

I just found out the Golden Gate Bridge gets the most suicide attempts out of all the landmarks in the US.

Wait till the ESB hears about THAT...

posted by Robb Todd on 02:16:2009 @ 07:47 PM

Sorry to poke a hole in your theory, but

Top O' the Rock, baby

Top O' the Rock

posted by CYFN on 02:17:2009 @ 01:15 PM

Those effing poor people, burn in hell all ya'll all.

Oh wait, I'm poor.

Oh, well, burn in hell ya poor bastards!

posted by Reverend Nate on 02:21:2009 @ 07:41 PM

Whatever. In these uncertain economic times, poverty is the best defense. Do you know how much I lost in the stock market? Nothing. Not a goddamn penny. My financial status actualy improved when my boss cut hours, thus giving me a larger share of the nights tips. And to top it all off everything is on sale. Thank you, Economic Downturn. Thank you.

posted by Joyless Prole on 02:22:2009 @ 04:49 PM

It's funny to think how sad we were over the loss of the wall streetf atcats driving our country into the ground. If they'd got them all we might not be in such a mess now.