12:01:2008 @ 12:46 PM

i’m gonna sell my house in town and i’ll be there, to shine in your japan, to sparkle in your china

Dear Burger King,

I thought you might like to know that we all got together to discuss world events and to debate which Olsen twin is hotter (it’s the one on the left) and to brainstorm new product ideas to market on the internet and via infomercial (as is our custom the Saturday after each Thanksgiving), and when the subject of you came up, we quickly reached the consensus that the Triple Whopper is just a teenie bit too much Whopper.

I’d say it’s approximately one level of Whopper too much, give or take. This according to our vote.

Anyway, just thought you’d like to know.

[note: also, your “cheesy tots” are fucking gross.]

Guess what! I went Christmas shopping yesterday and I couldn’t decide what to buy you. On the one hand, I wanted to get you something nice and classy, because I believe that if you’re going to give a gift, you should get something the person would want. But on the other hand, you have really, really bad taste. So I bought you this.

I’m thinking I’ll keep the compact press-and-open book light for myself, though. Just press, and the book light instantly opens and turns on for extra light where you need it. OMGLOL!!!

A $15 dollar value! Free!!!!

posted by The Scoot on 12:01:2008 @ 03:55 PM

I so dearly want to have a snugie. Kim thinks it's ridiculous, and I feel that it would be hedonistic to purchase one for myself.

posted by Shawn on 12:01:2008 @ 06:45 PM

Scoot aside, chicks seem to dig the blankets and such. They seem to be cold all the time. I blame it on the lack of brain activity, hence poor overall circulation and blood flow. :)

posted by Debbie on 12:01:2008 @ 10:06 PM

Gee, Thanks for spoiling Christmas on December effin 1st.

posted by Jack Smynde on 12:01:2008 @ 10:57 PM

It helps you feel more like the religious prophet of your choice for no extra charge!!

posted by new potatoes on 12:02:2008 @ 05:34 AM

umm like i ordered a snuggie and they sent it ok right away but when i opened the box my snuggie was white and looked like a KKK robe and i got all scared becuz my baby daddy is black and i thought that he would beat me but dude was like hey put that thang on and let me enter you from the rear so i did and the sex was fab.

posted by Kristin on 12:02:2008 @ 07:58 AM

I'm too intrigued by New Potatoes to comment on the Snugie or whatever-the-fuck it's called. I mean, can't you just stick your fucking arms out the blanket if you wanna fondle the remote control? Jesus, we are a lazy people.

posted by the3rdstring on 12:02:2008 @ 08:03 AM

you are fuckin' funny dude.