12:22:2008 @ 09:15 AM

and if i took the time to take your time, and sleep this time, all the way home

I learned something whilst flying first class from New York to New Orleans yesterday: when you’re a wee bit gassy, you don’t have to bother trying to hold it in.

It really is okay. I promise you, it’s okay. Because your gas doesn’t stink when you’re flying first class.

Well, either that or the airflow is designed so as to carry the stench aft, towards the poor people where it so rightly belongs. Regardless, you may fart at leisure. And go ahead and order another cup of coffee, served in an actual mug. You deserve it.

I got this Christmas card from my mom the other day, and boy did it get on my nerves something fierce.

let’s give a little jesus. or maybe an xbox. that would be a way better gift, and xbox would.

If I’ve told her once, I’ve told her 1,000 times: I don’t want a little Jesus.

[note: or socks.]

Please mom, not again with the socks or the little Jesuses. No more.

[note: should that be “little jesii?” i flunked out of sunday school, so i can’t be certain without looking it up on the internet, and who has the time?]

And finally, I’d like to take a moment to acknowledge the total lack of minivans driving around with wreaths attached to the front. I knew you visited my website, but I always thought it was for the pretty pictures. Who knew you were actually reading?

Anyway, you’re doing a great job, hillbillies. Keep it up.

posted by Kristin on 12:22:2008 @ 09:51 AM

It may not smell in first class, but it does smell in other places, so really, I do appreciate the courtesy. Keep it up, J.

posted by The Scoot on 12:22:2008 @ 11:09 AM

Kim almost banished me to the couch last night because of my gas. I am no longer allowed to eat taco hamburger helper.

True Story.

posted by Jack Smynde on 12:23:2008 @ 12:52 AM

Wet farts?

posted by the3rdstring on 12:23:2008 @ 09:00 AM

You will also find in my building that if you fart in a VP's office it stinks only slightly and in an MD's office, not at all. However, out where Krock and I sit, the smell of shit flows freely. I think they have it vented directly to our department.