i love you, i love you, i love you i do; but don’t get excited, i love monkeys too

Call me old fashioned, Internet, but anytime I see a blind person walking around with a cane and glasses, I automatically assume they’re faking unless they bump into something. I guess I’m a stickler for details.

Speaking of the Olympics, boy that Michael Phelps sure can swim. Swim like the wind.

Also, I’d like to  show my appreciation to the International Federation of Gymnastics for increasing the minimum age of competition to 16 a few years back, not only for the welfare of the athletes but also for making me feel just a tad less like a pedophile when I watch the uneven bars.

And while we’re on the subject, I think we can all agree to thumb our collective noses at the Chinese women’s gymnastic team for putting those underage girls in an international gymnastics competition — where they absolutely do not belong — and in doing so, forcing them to grow up too quickly by taking them out of their natural habitat, i.e. a sweatshop making Mardi Gras beads.

Get your head in the game, China; February will be here before you know it, and without a ready supply beads, frat guys aren’t going to be able to check out the goods before deciding who to date rape.