gimme a swaller and i’ll pay you back someday

I thought about you this weekend, Internet. I was having some takeout Chinese food and after I finished my spicy orange chicken (house specialty #A3) I opened up my fortune cookie and it said “you find beauty in ordinary things.”

And I’m pretty sure by “ordinary” it meant “you.”

Here’s something that has come up recently with which I take much umbrage: in the commercials for that new Billy Ray Montana show where they appear to take all these hillbillies and have ’em sing hillbilly songs — like “Dooley” or “Don’t Mess with My Toot Toot” or whatever the devil it is the hillbillies sing when they’re blowing into a moonshine jug while walking barefoot to the fishin’ hole — and then judge them on which one has the purtiest voice, it says something about country being “America’s music.”

OMFGWTF?!?!?!?

Um, jazz? Blues? Rock’n’fucking-roll? They even on the ballot? Way to blow yet another election there, red states. Have you learned nothing?

Hey! Check out my new tattoo.