other rappers diss me, say my rhymes are sissy

Happy belated Mother’s Day, Internet, to all you MILFs out there in particular.

If you aren’t sure whether or not you qualify, here’s a quick and easy test:

Go look in the mirror.

Are you fat?

If the answer is “yes,” then the answer is “no.” Cappice? After all, it’s MILF, not MBGLF*. The “I” is key, and you must never forget as much.

But if you still aren’t sure, send me some photos and I’ll tell you. The nakeder, the better. But please please please take the test first.

Hey Chicago!

Remember that time last week when I saw the entrance for your pink line? And I got excited but when I went down I opted to ride your brown line instead, over and over for what seemed like an eternity? I enjoyed the ride so much that, when I did finally get off, I hadn’t even noticed that at some point along the way I’d transferred over to the red line. Get what I’m saying? OMFGLOL!!!

You’re an okay city, I suppose. The Sears Tower is really imposing and magnificent (especially from the back), and while I wasn’t too sure what to think when I saw elk on the menu, you really managed to pull it off. Goose Island beer is average, though. Sorry to tell you so bluntly, but better it comes from me than a stranger.

And then there’s this:

Why? Just… just why?