03:17:2008 @ 07:30 PM

i may make you feel, but i can’t make you think

[note: this is a repost from a couple of years ago, because i’m lazy like that. blow me.]

So, today is St. Patrick’s Day or, as it’s known in some circles, My Religion is Better Than Yours Day. I don’t celebrate St. Patrick’s Day, for the same reasons I also don’t celebrate the birthdays of Robert Tilton, Benny Hinn, or Jan Crouch.

[note: reverend ike, on the other hand, i choose to celebrate daily. for the others, maybe when they die i’ll find cause to party.]

If you aren’t Irish or Catholic, the only reason I can fathom for you to celebrate St. Patrick’s Day is the opportunity to drink. A lot. Like the amateur drunk that you are. You’re also probably a big fan of Mardi Gras and New Year’s Eve, when you feel you’re allowed to get belligerent because the calendar says it’s okay. And the difference between “date rape” and “making love” to you is directly related to the amount of shares his father owns…

But I digress.

Me? I don’t need some bullshit holiday to drink. So fuck off.

[note: i’m also not wearing green, and if you pinch me, i’ll kick you in the dick.]

[note: check me out on the humor-blogs.com.]

my ass is wigglin’ to Thick As A Brick by Jethro Tull

posted by marie b. on 03:17:2006 @ 08:30 PM

Fabulous.

posted by Gray on 03:17:2006 @ 10:01 PM

Hey man...Chad and I are playing at Caterie Sat. March the 18th (tomorrow) @10:00. Come see us!

posted by jeremy on 03:17:2006 @ 10:23 PM

marie: i try.

gray: are you saying i’m on the guest list? jeremy plus one? hint hint…

posted by transience on 03:17:2006 @ 11:18 PM

i have a strap-on birdie. good for kicking. and i'm non-irish, agnostic and can't hold my liquor, which means whenever a good holiday comes along, i wallow in self-pity like any plain, old motherfucker.

posted by jeremy on 03:18:2006 @ 09:29 AM

Did you just call me old?

posted by Kristin on 03:17:2008 @ 03:45 PM

oh, but how can you get down on green bagels, man? GREEN BAGELS.

posted by {illyria} on 03:18:2008 @ 08:30 PM

(just so my comment is updated with my new handle. nothing has changed much since, anyway. i still wallow in self-pity.)

posted by Kunstemaecker on 03:19:2008 @ 09:53 AM

I once decorated an Irish pub with the Italian flag by mistake.
They fucking look alike, the Irish and the Italian flag. Nobody noticed but my boss.