i’m beginning to think (though i’m open to sway) that, even when we’re old and gray, i think you’ll see me, dear, and look the other way, just like you did, dear, only the other day

Day four of the conference and, as I sat waiting for the first session to start, cute, star-shaped tattoo girl walked up to my table, touched the chair next to mine, then looked towards her friend as if to say “let’s sit here.” My heart raced. What joy! What bliss! But her friend — her stupid fucking nazi cunt of a friend — said “no,” and they sat at the next table over.

So close, and yet so god fucking damnit.

It being the last day, I decided to take matters into my own hands and, between sessions one and two, knelt down in the back of the room ninjaesque© and waited for her to come back from potty break and choose a seat. I became the hunter, she my prey, and as soon as the opportunity presented itself, I pounced as a hyena might on a wildebeest, a cute wildebeest with a small, star-shaped tattoo on the back of its neck, almost completely (though not entirely) obscured from sight via combination of blouse collar and short yet feminine brunette hair.

I claimed the seat next to hers and, thinking success, began to settle in, turning on the laptop and readying my sketchbook and wondering if I would be able to keep my gut sucked in for an entire hour-and-a-half session. But it would seem I underestimated her wily and cunning ways because, right before the presenter began, she upped and moved to another table, perfectly timed to prevent any countermove on my part.

Touché, cute, star-shaped tattoo girl. Well played.