the loveliness of paris seems somehow sadly gay

So I went shopping this past weekend to pick up some supplies for my trip to the San Francisco on which I’ll be leaving shortly.

• Got some Febreze, in case I find myself too close to the hippies.
• Got some disinfectant spray, in case I find myself too close to the gays (the kind with the Aids, and not the kind that buy you new wardrobes and teach you how to cook and use facial cleanser).
• Got some condoms, in case I find myself really too close to either the hippies or the gays.

I went to the Sam’s because, at least according to the Wiki, San Francisco has tons of the hippies and also the gays, and I needed to make sure I wouldn’t run out of such necessities lest I find myself dirty, smelly and all Aided up come week’s end.

Can you even begin to imagine the embarrassment? If I came back with body odor and a case of the Aids? OMG LOL.