i can stand the pain of love (i could even stand some more)

There are those who unabashedly consider me a stud (and by “those” I mean Cindy) and, while I appreciate and even encourage their sentiments, I’ve decided to come clean once and for all and admit that I am actually not a stud. Strong, rigid and supportive ain’t my bag.

No, Internet, the fact is that, comparatively speaking, I am far closer to drywall, in that I tend to hang around studs hoping to obscure your vision of them. I feel it betters my chances with you if you don’t even know they’re back there. Also, I’m thin and pasty white. And I sometimes strategically apply tape to parts of me to look more, um, appealing.

I’m going to San Francisco next week, incidentally, so if anyone wants to buy me beers and try to get lucky, let me know. I don’t tend to start losing my inhibitions until somewhere around the eighth or ninth pint, so you might want to stop by the ATM first.