you wanna hear you broke my heart, i wanna hear you’re gonna finish what you start

You’ve probably known this for years and years, and I sincerely hope you don’t think it wise to mock my until-recent ignorance on the matter because I assure you mocking me is the antithesis of wise and will not be tolerated, but I’ve just today discovered that a can of V8, when poured into a toilet, looks exactly like bloody diarrhea.

Exactly like it.

Which is such a coincidence, considering the bloody diarrhea taste is what prompted me to pour it into the toilet to begin with.