we got what ya want, and you got the lust

I don’t know if they had it on the television where you live, but here in Baton Rouge, there was this infomercial on all night Sunday and most of the day yesterday selling the retards. Nothing but the retards. In fact, seems like it comes on every year ’round this time.

I didn’t watch a whole hell of a lot of it this year, though, because last year I called in to order a couple of them retard kids to help me get on the Home Makeover show, but I never received ’em. Even paid extra to get the really retarded ones (so Ty’d buy me a new SUV, too), but nothing. And I’m sorry but I don’t care how earth-shatteringly funny Louie Anderson is, that’s just bad business.

So I watched Dr. Phil instead.