my pets with claws, they’re always kinda angry at me

If I had a kid that turned out to be a retard, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to kill it like that wrestler that killed his retard kid did. I’m too sensitive and caring a human being for that kind of thing.

No, I think that if I had a kid that turned out to be a retard, I’d try and rent it out to people who didn’t have retard kids, so they could get the Extreme Home Makeover people to build them new houses. This is after I got them Extreme Home Makeover people to build me a new house, mind you; I think I’ve earned it, what with the whole “not killing the retard” thing. They eat that sort of shit up.

And no, internet, I’m not particularly concerned that them Extreme Home Makeover people would catch on after seeing the same retard week-after-week; it’s nigh-impossible to differentiate between retards as it is, and can you even imagine if you’re drunk?

So yeah. That’s probably what I’d do.

I should mention that my “not killing the retard” thing only applies if the retard is one of them quiet retards. If I had a kid that turned out to be a retard that was loud and made retard noises all the time, my previous stance shall be considered null and void. All bets are off.

This is after I get them Extreme Home Makeover people to build me a new house, mind you. I think I’ve earned it.