are you just so far away from me?

Happy 777, internet. 13 months and a day ago, we celebrated the National Day of Slayer, and since I haven’t heard otherwise, I feel it’s my duty to go ahead and proclaim today officially the National Day of Danzig. And tonight, we’re gonna Lucifuge like it’s 1999.

I bought a laptop the other day, one with the wireless internet card thing built in. I had every intention of buying a wireless router, too, because who doesn’t want to download porn right there in the kitchen? You know what I mean.

But the thing is, I hooked the laptop up and, as it turns out, one of my neighbors must have one running already, because I can totally connect to it from my house. So now, not only am I no longer planning on buying my own router, I’m seriously considering canceling my internet subscription. As the saying goes, “why buy the cow when you can get the amateur teen exhibitionists on spring break for free?”

I’m flying to Seattle tomorrow, incidentally. I plan on drinking two or three (hundred) Mac and Jacks while I’m there and, if you’re lucky, I’ll blog about it.

And I know what you’re probably asking yourself: will the big man be dropping that big hammer on the northwest tip?

And how.

Consider the mail read.

Also, I love the Ettes.