isn’t it nice, sugar and spice? luring disco dollies to a life of vice

So they kicked that midget off the Hell’s Kitchen last night.

Surprisingly, they didn’t give it the axe for the most obvious of reasons, that being the fear of the restaurant guests getting sick at the sight — thanks to the open-styled kitchen — of his tiny, sausage fingers touching their food.

And while it was inevitable that the Board of Health would eventually order his removal, forcing the show to comply with the various laws preventing livestock in the kitchen, that wasn’t the reason he got voted off the island, either.

No, apparently the little guy just wasn’t a very good cook, which I suppose is plausible because, really, if the only foods you’re ever around on a day-to-day basis are nachos and funnel cakes and cotton candy, how tasty could your risotto possibly be?