i have only one burning desire

Dear Annabelle Gurwitch,

I remember thinking back when that whole “Dinner and a Movie” thing started that, damn, the hostess is kind of cute. And while I can’t with any trace of honesty say I watched a whole lot of the show, if I ever were to happen upon it while flipping through the channels, I’d pause for a minute or two because, damn, you were kind of cute. But then The ’Burbs would inevitably start up again, and I’d go back to channel surfing because it was way before the time of TiVo and on-screen guides, and the soft-core porn just wasn’t going to find itself.

Years went by and, other than wondering if you were Elaine’s friend on that one episode of Seinfeld, I’m sorry to say I didn’t think of you too often. But then, as luck would have it, I came across Fired! (because Mondays are doc days) and, after watching the film and reminiscing about all the lurid yet heartfelt things I’d think or, at times, say about you 10 years ago (I’d like her to drain my spaghetti), I felt the need to reach out to you and say this:

Damn. You’re still pretty cute.

I think I’ll even try and find a copy of that movie where you showed your tits. Or screen captures. Whichever.

With love,
jeremy